The Grass is Always Greener
May 29, 2009 
I miss Colorado.
Not in the, "I want to move back," or, "We made a mistake moving back to Minnesota," kind of way. No. It's more like a wistful recollection of our time there, moments where I think, "Wow, that will always be a very special time in our lives. I can't believe it is over."
Mr. Blue Eyes called me the other night and he was outside. In the background I could hear the frogs croaking down in our horse pasture. The frogs make themselves known the first part of every summer where our little creek meets the drainage under the road.
The sound of their croaking reminded me of the most beautiful days of summer in the mountains when the wildflowers burst into full bloom, the smell of our neighbor smoking meat floats in the air, and the waft of a cool breeze streams through open windows in the evenings. I took many a nap while I was pregnant with the kids in front of those open windows. I have fond memories of those flowers, that meat, and those naps.
This is my favorite time of year in Colorado, which makes it bittersweet to be away.
Like so many times over the past few years, I find myself wishing that I could just have had it all the way I wanted... If only our families could have ALL moved to Colorado, it would have just been perfect. If only Colorado was a little more like Minnesota... More lakes, more green, less predators. If only Minnesota was a little more like Colorado... More hills and mountains, less bugs and humidity, more sweeping meadows. If only we could have everybody we love there and everybody we love here in one place, surrounding us forever and ever...
If only... If only... If only...
I try not to do this to myself. It's ridiculous, is what it is. For the most part, I try not to spend too much time dreaming of 'what might have been'. I guess I like to think of myself as sort of a realist. I don't let myself get too sentimental if I can help it.
But those frogs... Those frogs got to me.
I guess it's only natural to go through these emotions whenever you go through a major change in your life. The only way I know how to get through it is to simply allow myself to feel it, and know that someday soon we will start creating something new and just as special right here.
Come what may, down the road when we've gotten our bearings and life feels 'back to normal' again and we've processed all that we're going through right now, there's one thing I know for sure: Colorado will always have a special place in my heart.
Reader Comments (5)
It seems as if one page of your life has been completed and now you are turning to another! It's good to hold those memories near and dear. You can share them with your babies when they are older. There shall be many more pages in your life book, my dear. Live them each at a time.
I love that donkey picture! I have always wanted a donkey!
Can't imagine how tough it is to move on from a place so beautiful in so many ways. Glad you had the chance to capture in photos your favorite parts of life there.
What a nice post. You have such a way with words and great ability to express yourself. It's so hard turning a page and beginning again, even if it means being near to your family again. I'm glad you have all your gorgeous photography so you can daydream about Colorado whenever you want to.
Beautiful pictures and beautiful comments! I love the pictures, it would have been so hard to move away from that beauty, stunning is the word that comes to mind.
Beautiful post, Laura...I totally get what you are saying.