Looking

Sigh.

I'm writing today, if for no other reason, to insert a different picture into the top of the screen on my home page. Because every time Elsa's picture pops up with yesterday's post, my heart breaks a little more.

Because when the kids saw it this morning, they both said her name with glee. (And Miss Peaches said it with a slight lisp.)

And I don't think I can stand it if that happens one more time.

She's still gone.

The update is that our neighbor, about a mile to the north, saw her and Burley at his house yesterday morning. Burley came back alone. That's all we know.

I've called the radio station, the city police, the county sherrif, the humane society and the neighbors. We've driven down the roads, the dredge ditch, and called her name. It's quite literally like looking for a needle in a corn field.

So now we wait.

I'd like to think I've gotten better at waiting over the last few years. There've been times I've felt like I was becoming an expert at it. You do everything you can to put things in motion, but once you've done all that, sometimes all you can do is wait for the Lord to put the rest of it together.

Or not.

That's the hard part, of course... Thinking about the 'or not'.

I can't tell you how many times I've looked out the window. Every 30 seconds or so.

It's raining. It's been raining since before she left. Part of me doesn't want it to stop... As if, if it stops, it will mean the dawn of a new day. A day without Elsa.

The horses keep looking to the north, and I can't help but wonder what they know.

The dogs seem to know she's gone. They're moping around just as much as I am. Burley just lays. Lays on the porch step and watches, and waits, like me. If I didn't have kids to watch, I'd probably lay out there with him.

But I still have hope in my heart.

Come home, mammoth puppy.

Thanks for your prayers...

Farmer Gal

Comments

[rebekah j.]

ohhh that must be so difficult :\ praying she comes home soon!