From the archives... 'So Many Thoughts, So Little Time'

Quick FYI: I'm off the ranch for a few days, so scheduled my website to pop up some older blog posts. Enjoy at your leisure!

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October 18th, 2009...

Feeling random and scattered today... Sort of in a rambling mood. We rambled around all day, and even though my butt is now planted in one place for awhile, my mind seems to be stuck in rambling mode.

Because the thoughts that I am about to put forth are somewhat garbled and nonsensical, I thought today's pictures should be also. You see, I have all of these pictures that I love but don't really fit into my usual posts about day-to-day life and such, so sometimes I just have to throw them in here and there for the heck of it.

Like the picture above, for instance. It's one of my new favorites. I took it over a year ago (and now find myself not believing that it was that long ago... seems like yesterday!) at my brother's place in Nebraska. I ventured out, my pregnant self, Miss Peaches hanging low and heavy in my belly at that point, and stalked his horses for awhile. I also came up with this shot:

... another one of my favorites. There are others from that day that I like, as well, but I haven't gotten around to editing them all yet. They're kind of like my little treasure cave... I go to them when I have a little time to play around.

Even though I was rotund and uncoordinated at the time I took them, looking at them makes me feel... wild... and free... and exhilerated.

Anyhow, what I like about this picture...

... is that it reminds me of Mr. Blue Eyes and I.

Soft.

Snuggly.

Quiet.

Together.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

This evening I'm working on filling out job applications for the Mr. and I, one of my least favorite tasks, but I have to say that I've gotten pretty good at it over the years.

(Or at least I think I have. I haven't gotten that many jobs, so maybe I'm not and I'm just fooling myself. There's a thinker.)

Anyhow, job hunting always makes me laugh, because some of the job titles are so ridiculous, yet I realize they're necessary. But they're ridiculous. But necessary.

Let me tell you what I mean...

Take Store Associate, for instance. What does this mean? How are you associated with the store? Why do you get paid to be associated with the store? Since associate is such a big word, it must be a very honorable position, right?

No, it's not. What they really should call it is 'Person Who Takes Clothes Out of Dressing Room, Hangs Them Back on Rack, Accepts Payment for Merchandise and Dusts the Shelves'. But they can't. Because that's too long, obviously, even if it is more accurate. So they come up with the title of Store Associate.

(Random picture for your enjoyment.)

I also ran across Carpet Cleaner Technician. You're not just a carpet cleaner, you're a technician. This business of carpet cleaning is very technical, evidently.

But who am I to say? Maybe it is.

(Little Blue Eyes as a baby. I shouldn't look at this for too long or I may have the urge to procreate again soon. I just can't do that to myself at this point. Between this and the nose nuzzling picture above that reminds me of Mr. Blue Eyes, I'm creating a rather dangerous situation for myself, reproductively speaking. But you should enjoy it. I'll just divert my eyes.)

This whole little boy in the balloon thing has gotten me all stirred up (if you don't know what I'm talking about, click here), but not because of all the hoax talk or anything, but because it reminds me of Colorado.

I miss Colorado. Not in the way like I want to move back (although... maybe someday... you never know) but more like when you're young and you go to summer camp, and when you return home you miss it. It's kind of like that.

Except instead of summer camp it's living there for six years, becoming part of a community and birthing your children. But it's still a lot like summer camp... Woods and rivers and such and singing songs.

Anyhow, the balloon boy, being from our old Colorado stomping ground area, has been bringing it all back into my consciousness. My wish is that we could have lived our two lives, the one we're living here now and the one we were living in Colorado, all at the same time, for the rest of our lives. Does that make any sense?

I loved our relative anonymity in Colorado, yet I love that everyone knows us here. I loved the mountains, yet I love the midwest. I loved where we were, yet I love where we are. I want both, all the time, forever.

(View from our deck in Colorado. I miss you, aspen trees.)

I'd like to say that I have some profound ending to this thought process, like, "After much soul searching I have come to realize that we are exactly where we should be," or something like that, but I don't. It just is what it is... We loved it there, we love it here. We are blessed either way, even if somewhat indecisive about it. When we were in Colorado we missed MN. In MN, we miss CO. It is what it is.

O.k., one more random picture and random thought and then I'm off to a little more job searching before bed...

This is Lucy. I don't think I've ever written about her here before. (Or if I have, I've forgotten, which is entirely possible.) She was the first dog that Mr. Blue Eyes and I ever had. I got her from a shelter after we'd been dating for about six months. She was abused and traumatized and was overwhelmingly scared of strangers. I was having a rough year at school, living with some dope-smokers, not knowing exactly where I was headed in life. We needed each other.

But she wasn't exactly the most obedient or giving dog. She was more into her beagle needs than anything. She ran away when we visited the farm, hunting rabbits at the neighbor's houses and who-knows-where-else, she howled ALL. THE. TIME. when we walked her in town. When she wasn't obsessively compulsively hunting or freaking out at strangers, she was sleeping under the bed, no doubt dreaming about rabbits or food or something else that appealed to her beagle nature.

Don't get me wrong, Lucy was special to us. She just wasn't exactly the loyal, stick-by-your side kind of dog that some dogs are. But she did teach me one thing, and I think I'll always be thankful to her for that: Perseverance.

Not only was Lucy abused, but she also developed Lyme's disease about halfway through her life. Not long after that, her hips started to give out and we found out she had Cushings disease, a very dibilitating disease that causes muscles to break down and sends surges of hormones through the body, which didn't help her already sensitive state of mind. Despite all of this, she persevered. Every SINGLE day she did what she was meant to do as her little beagle self... She hunted. She howled. She sniffed the ground. Even in the last couple years when her hind legs were beginning to drag and she looked as if the end was right around the corner, she made her rounds around our property and sometimes to the neighbor's (especially if they were roasting meat of some kind outside) and did what she loved, what she was meant to do.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

(Until next time.)