Cramming It All In

In my previous life as a non-mother, I was a much more 'focused-for-a-long-period-of-time' person... I would dive into a project wholeheartedly and stay at it until it was done just to my liking or until I got bored with it. I had a hard time switching gears from one thing to another.

Then I had kids.

Now I'm becoming a master at multi-tasking all the time, all day long. It's the only way I ever get anything done... Little increments at a time. I start mixing up a batch of muffins. I help somebody go potty. I add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients. I go play peek-a-boo. I put the muffins in a pan and into the oven. I mix up baby cereal and feed it to Miss Peaches. I take the muffins out. I put a load of laundry in the dryer. I put the muffins on a cooling rack. There's still more batter, so this process begins all over again.

I'm glad that I've been able to switch gears like this. It's good that I'm able to give up my former mannerisms for the good of my household. However, last night I realized that maybe I'm getting a little too good at it.

I've been trying to put myself to bed at 9:30. (I'm not real big on New Year's resolutions, but if I had to pick one for this year, this would be it.) I realized that I'm already way too sleep deprived as it is, and at that time of night it's almost a sure thing that both our kids are sleeping, so I should be too. I've always liked to go to bed around that time, but lately I've been burning the midnight oil a little more since it's the time of day (or night in this case) when all is quiet and I can have a little 'me' time. But I realized that sleep is just more important right now.

So last night I crawled into bed with a book I've been meaning to read for awhile, How to Listen to God by Charles Stanley. As I read the first page, I also mulled over recipe ideas, pictures I had just been looking at on iStockphoto, other pictures from a photographers gallery I had been looking at, and ideas for my website banner.

I thought about all of this while I was reading the first page of the book.

It wasn't a very long page either.

And what was weird was that I actually kind of comprehended what I was reading at the same time. But this still was not good. I knew that I needed to slow down my thoughts. So I re-read the page. I did a little better, but my mind was still racing a little. Then I re-read it again. A little better this time. I continued to read the chapter, and I really had to make an effort to not let my mind wander to other things while I was reading, but I did alright.

It made me think about that phrase, "There aren't enough hours in the day." That's how I feel, that's what drives me to stay up later and later each night. With my husband working and me watching two other kids along with our own babies, trying to be involved in a few church activities and somewhere along the way cooking good food and trying to keep a handle on household chores and somehow maintain relationships with my family and friends, the only time I often find for expressing my creativity comes at about 10 p.m.

Anyhow, I know that I need sleep when I can get it. That's important. That's what makes me better at everything and that's what helps me enjoy my life from day to day. I also know that I need a creative outlet and some way to nurture my own needs. Day by day I'm figuring it out. Some days I don't get to edit any photos with Photoshop. Some days the laundry doesn't get done. It's a little give and take, here and there. All I know is that I wouldn't trade a minute of it to revert to my 'focused-for-a-long-period-of-time' self.